UNOS DonateLife

August 18, 2005

Everybody's a donor in this bunch

From Richmond Times-Dispatch, August 2, 2005

By BILL LOHMANN

When they came East on a trip that included a poignant stop in Richmond, Tom and Joyce Falsey left their hearts in Kansas. And their kidneys in Nebraska. But they brought their good nature with them.

So, how does it feel, Tom was asked, to be from a family in which five members -- FIVE! -- have donated kid neys to relatives and strangers. "Well, we don't show our scars at Thanksgiving or anything like that, " he said with a laugh, as we chatted over lunch at the United Network for Organ Sharing headquarters at 700 N. Fourth St.

Holiday show-and-tell or not, the Falseys, who live in Shawnee, Kan., and their kin are a remarkable bunch. They've each donated a kidney to a complete stranger, but their motivation to become involved in organ donation originated close to home.

A nephew in Nebraska had advanced kidney disease. His mother donated a kidney to him in 1990, but several years later his kidneys began to fail again and he needed another transplant. In 2001, Tom volunteered one of his kidneys, but only hours before surgery, final tests determined Tom was not a suitable match. Their niece stepped in and gave her brother one of hers. The surgery was a success.

Tom, 50, was disappointed that he couldn't help, so he offered his kidney to anyone who needed it. But the Nebraska Medical Center didn't have an anonymous donor program. Tom and his employer set up a fund to help pay for donor testing, and eventually Tom donated a kidney to an Omaha teenager whose childhood cancer had severely damaged his kidneys.

Then Tom's brother, Jim, a Catholic priest in Michigan, figured he could do anything his younger brother could do. So, he donated a kidney to someone he didn't know: a single mother of two.

Not to be outdone, Joyce, 60, got into the act last year when she gave a kidney to an Omaha woman who had survived on dialysis for six years. They met for the first time Saturday.

Now, Joyce's brother, a farmer, is eager to be a donor. But he has to work it around his planting and harvestingcycle. Others in the family are interested in offering their kidneys, too.

But the Falseys and their relatives haven't been generous with their kidneys to set some sort of record or to become known as the "one-kidney club, " which started as a family joke. "Little did we know it would become a headline, " Joyce said. They've done it, Tom said, "to see the difference it makes in someone's life."

The Falseys made a side trip to Richmond from Washington, where they received medals of honor at the annual National Donor Recognition ceremony sponsored by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' Division of Transplantation and the National Donor Family Council of the National Kidney Foundation. They were among a couple of busloads of donors and families of donors who traveled to UNOS to visit the National Donor Memorial here.

The memorial at UNOS headquarters features a garden and "wall of tears, " where a slow stream of cascading water represents the tears of loss and joy experienced in donation and transplantation. The contrast of emotions is palpable when surrounded by families of deceased donors, who saved lives after losing theirs.

"It's kind of overwhelming to know everyone has lost a loved one, " said Tom, who recently was voted onto the UNOS board of directors. "They've sacrificed a lot more than we have."

On the other hand, it takes a certain kind of courage and generosity to become a living donor, particularly when the recipient is not a relative.

"Giving someone an organ is the ultimate selfless act, and having five such generous people in one family is phenomenal, " said UNOS executive director Walter Graham. "What the Falseys did is more than most people would consider. But every one of us has the power to save or enhance up to 50 lives by signing up to be an organ and tissue donor when we die."

Becoming a living donor is not something the Falseys took lightly. There are risks. While Tom woke up from his surgery feeling fine and wondering if it had even taken place, Joyce developed pancreatitis and was sick for months. She's fine now and she's glad she did it, but having a kidney removed is not the same as getting a haircut.

"It's not for everybody, " Tom said, "but it's something I wanted to do very much."